Suspended Animation Dreams

Having A Look At Seiyuu Motivations (Also Known As: Yui Horie Is A Creepy Old Bat)
March 9, 2010, 3:52 pm
Filed under: Horie Yui, Seiyuu, Toradora | Tags: , , , , , ,

Do me a favor and tell me how long you can stomach this video.

Not fucking long, right? I’ve loved Vanilla Salt, the first ending theme from Toradora, ever since Digital Boy used to play it all the god damn time. However, the two of us came to the consensus that the music video was a sin against all things righteous and should be blocked from our collective minds. Easy to see why: Yui Horie is fucking creepy. I always find plastic surgery unnerving and noticeable, but this is crazy. Her face looks like it’s made of fucking plastic. You can feel the sense that she either thinks that she’s cute, or wants to think it, but she is totally not. [By the way, she is a member of Kikuko Inoue‘s ‘forever 17 cult’. I’m pretty sure Kikuko Inoue is joking when she claims to still be 17. Yui Horie is less convincing.]

Leaving aside her creepiness, though, I want to take a look at her career. I rather like Yui Horie as an actress, though she can be grating at times; but hey, you’ve got a lot to go by. She’s in fucking everything, and more often than not, she’s playing a major role. When I first saw her appearing in everything on TV, I just attributed it to being a Japanese person. After all, the Japanese entertainment industry is all about output. Most of the Japanese bands I’ve heard of put out an album on a yearly basis if not even more frequently (as opposed to every 2 or 3 years as is common in the US). I just assumed that she needed that many voice acting jobs to sustain a living.

But hold on, that can’t be right. It’s not like every seiyuu is playing major roles in 4 different shows at all given times. No, I don’t think Horie quite needs this much work so much as wants it. Working as a seiyuu doesn’t strike me as a very glamorous job. Being well-known doesn’t spare you from doing bad shows, and I doubt that it gets you paid a whole lot more than other seiyuu. It’s probably accurate to say that, like anyone else, a seiyuu’s pay is directly proportional to the amount of work they do. So if one seiyuu is getting by on one or two shows a season, then it gives me reason to believe that a seiyuu who does four major roles a season is simply living an expensive lifestyle.

Plastic surgery is not necessarily cheap, but it’s quite obvious that Yui Horie gets a fuckload of it done. I wonder how many side-jobs that face cost her?

This is, of course, all speculation.


Chu-Bra 3 – Admit It, This Show Is Getting Good
January 20, 2010, 11:55 am
Filed under: Anime, Chu-Bra | Tags: , ,

Fuck man, is this the show that had me so apprehensive at first? It’s gotten good. Remember when I said ‘I hope it goes in Manabi Straight directions’? Well, it may be just that! I think we could have real school revolution going on here, and what’s more, I support the fuck out of the petition.

Shit man, this is good directing here

Chu-Bra’s ultimate message is quite simply: “Grow up.” Seriously. Underwear. It’s fucking there. You wear it, I wear it, we all fucking wear it. Our bodies are our bodies, same fucking shit on everyone. Grow the fuck up people, this shit is real. Yes, this is a show about 12 year-olds in underwear, yes it’s for a perverted audience. But guess what? 12 year-olds wear underwear. That’s just a fact, and there’s no reason there can’t be a show about it. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about – it’s just fucking life. It’s one thing when you are indifferent to it, but why attack it? What’s so wrong about underwear appreciation? Nothing. Grow the fuck up.

Chu-Bra three was a lot of fun, because the characters are somewhat interesting and cool and intelligent, and the plot is intriguing. What’s more, this episode was surprisingly well-directed – a LOT happened, and it was paced perfectly. Structure’s good, so there’s no reason to oppose this show. Don’t like it? Fine. But there’s nothing wrong with liking it. And I for one do – it’s fun and cute and well-made, so while it’s not exactly the best show of the season, it’s more than worth watching. Some scenes brought a big smile to my face, and any show that can do that has my respect.

She really holds it all together

So my message to this show’s detractors is simply: Grow the fuck up. There’s nothing wrong with Chu-Bra. I’ve learned this. You should too.

Omamori Himari 2 – Wet Pussy
January 16, 2010, 2:18 am
Filed under: Anime, Omamori Himari | Tags: , ,

And you probably thought I meant the catgirl at the beach ;)

Trying to say ANYTHING about Omamori Himari that you can’t say about any other show is like trying to assassinate a dead man with your penis. First of all, he’s already dead, second of all, someone beat you to it, and third of all, the man is gay, and he really wouldn’t have been all that hurt by what you were planning to do.

Why am I bothering? Because I’m watching the show, and I don’t dislike it, and that’s my angle on the show. I’m not going to say anything about it because there is nothing to say. It’s exactly what you think it is! It’s not one of those tricks where you say ‘it’s like everything else, but different‘ no, that’s just not true here! You’ve seen absolutely everything in this show done in exactly the same way. It’s almost perplexing, really! It kind of makes you double-take! For a moment, you can’t even believe that this show exists! I think that five years from now, I won’t be aware that I ever watched an Omamori Himari – not because I didn’t like the show, or that it was bad, or that I wasn’t paying attention – I literally will forget that the events in this show took place in this show. When I try to think back to this loli, and this sword-wielding big-breasted girl, and this best friend and main character, I will accidentally remember their counterparts in other shows instead. When I try to remember the changing scene, I might accidentally remember Kashimashi Girl Mets Girl, or when I remember the tentacle monster in the water, I may remember This Ugly Yet Beautiful World. None of them stand out, they just become a huge, jumbled mess in my mind.

But I don’t seem to care. It’s not like this is me complaining. I like the show well enough. I still would totally bang most of the girls, I still would totally finish the show… it’s just that I know the whole thing is falling into a black hole of memory, like a glitch in the Matrix, that will one day resurface when another anime makes me think ‘haven’t I seen this before somewhere?’

Running Back To Chu-Bra. Embracing. Episode 2.
January 12, 2010, 8:35 am
Filed under: Anime, Chu-Bra | Tags: , ,

I wonder how DigitalBoy would react if I said I was ‘tsundere’ for Chu-Bra. At least it’s in a classical sense, though. It wasn’t that hard to warm up to. The first episode turned me off because I didn’t want to admit to it that I was a lolicon. I’m willing to admit it now, and now I am actually very impressed.

I don’t have any real idea why I have a fascination with the prospect of learning about girls’s underwear. I will say that I long have had a nagging interest in women’s fashion (not that Runway shit, though. High fashion is fucking disgusting.) and maybe I’m interested in the underwear from a fashion standpoint? Or maybe I’m just a dirty, dirty guy who likes to see girls in their underwear? Either could be true, but I’d like to think there’s actually a better reason for it (who wouldn’t, really. But I’m serious.)

As an aside, this moment was actually quite brilliant.

It’s because, in my heart of hearts, I have always wished I was a little girl. I don’t really know why. Maybe I just never encountered enough little girls in my life. Growing up, I avoided girls like the plague, and by the time I was in high school, all of them had actually contracted the plague. From a psychological standpoint, my interest could stem from this sheer lack of knowledge.

But basically, there are things I admire. I admire the cuteness. I admire the body type. I admire the style and fashion possibilities. I won’t lie, I have no interest in the ‘innocence’ of the little girl. I don’t want to be a little girl who is like just any little girl, I still want to keep the mind I currently have, which means I would be a dirty girl (since I’m a dirty guy and all.) I would definitely be a lesbian. Lesbians fascinate me through simple math. 1 girl = interesting, therefor 2 girls = double interesting. As a little lesbian who dresses extremely fashionably and has the mind of a dirty guy, I would have a little lesbian partner who would also be really fashionable but also a tomboy and maybe was a prostitute for some part of her life or survived a snuff film production earlier in childhood – I digress heavily.

Chu-Bra gives me more insight into little-girl-dom. Now, I know this show is not all that realistic, but in many ways it is surprisingly so. If nothing else, the middle school society is represented well. While the main girl is obsessively nice, she’s pretty much alone in that regard. What’s more, the show really represents the melting pot of growth that middle school is. The pink-haired girl already has massive tits – this is true for many girls her age. Girls can start developing at as young as 8 years old, and I distinctly remember in fifth grade noticing some girls with chests that bewildered even me at my young age. Meanwhile, some of the girls are still in elementary school bodies. This time, I look at my middle school experience wherein on my bus, some kids were as much as 6 feet tall and others looked like they belonged in a damn kindergarten. (Obviously not a Hanamaru Kindergarten though, or they’d have been mutants.)

How 'real' is her story?

Chu-Bra is surprisingly true to that development and to the emotions that come with it. Would the tsurupettan girl have had such a dramatic situation with her friends in real life? Probably not. But would she have felt a lot of pressure in the middle school environment of changes, and insecure as the other girls stared at her and made fun of her for wearing a bra? Definitely.

The end of the episode leads me to believe that the main character intends to start an ‘underwear club’ at the school. As crazy as that is, I get the feeling it will be used to put very real stories through the light slant of ‘well it’s anime, duh’. I only hope it gets to be pretty epic with this whole club thing and possibly could go a Manabi Straight-esque route.

Or maybe I’m making excuses so that I don’t have to feel as bad when I fap to the lesbian scenes. Who knows.

Omamori Himari – I Will Sex The Cat (Slightly NSFW)
January 8, 2010, 4:00 pm
Filed under: Ami Koshimizu, Anime, Omamori Himari | Tags: , , ,

Because ‘a cat is fine too’ feels so passe.

I’m not gunna kid you, this show is exactly what you think it’s going to be. Well, maybe a little better – the animation, while nothing to write home about, can’t be called bad at all (ZEXCS is doing a better job with Chu-Bra, though). The character designs, while nothing you haven’t seen 10 times in the last week, are attractive. What’s more, I can’t complain about the vocal cast. You can semi-instantly tell that Rinko’s voice actress is a n00b, but that doesn’t make her less good. The dude is played by MANkoto from School Days. But they don’t really matter – you’ll forget about them ten seconds after the episode ends.

The girl at the bottom is cute, but against Himari, she's just immemorable.

The reason you’ll contemplate watching more of Omamori Himari is that Himari is interesting. And she owes it ALL to being voiced by Ami Koshimizuno, do not fucking question or correct me, I did my god damn research here to prove that Koshimizu makes this character. I started with the design – i like the design a good bit. That’s saying something, ya’ll. I may be one of those guys who’d put his dick in a toaster if it looked at me the right way, but I will say that it takes an exceptionally good-looking design to convince me that I do, in fact, like big breasts. And her’s are gargantuan. So follow me here.

The maid is kind of not-sure-if-want

I started looking for images of Omamori Himari, figuring that since it’s based on a manga then it would already have a fanbase. I stumble on some great stuff and am very quickly confronted with the fact that the girls are more attractive in the manga (Something to do with the way low-budget anime have a tendency to ‘lift’ the hair on all the characters, and the greater attention to curves put forth by the manga-ka.) Anyway, 17 minutes of questionable activity later I was reading the manga and found myself completely bored. Bemused as I was by the subtle plot changes between mediums and the ungodly shitty translation job (If you don’t know how to make olde English sound right, then just give up), Himari was not at all living up to her fun level from the anime.

Fuck it I give - A CAT IS FINE TOO! Now take me to overkilled meme prison

And I realized why – this girl could have been fitted with any kind of voice. Reading the manga, I see her gorgeous body as she humps the guy’s leg and as she fights with her awesome katana and I realize I’ve seen this character exactly 73 times before. Had I never seen the anime, I might have heard her voice as being more of a high-pitched and flirtatious voice that says ‘ara’ a lot. Instead, she has the voice of Holo, Kallen Stadtfeld, Anemone, Paraietta, and Charlotte E Yeager. Ami Koshimizu is an amazing voice actress and even though she’s working on a low-budget production with a script that probably made her facepalm, she turns it into something full of life and gives birth to an interesting and completely hot character.

Digital Boy once said ‘I want to fuck (was it Paku Romi?)’s voice’ and I can probably say the same about Ami Koshimizu in this role. Ami, were it not for your deep and seductive tone, I might not have been on the brink of explosion when Himari’s breasts were drifting just above that guy’s chest. (This is, of course, the last compliment that Koshimizu would have wanted to hear.)

I’m not going to say that I’ll continue Omamori Himari, because I liked Nyan Koi even more and I forgot all about it after two episodes, but if I continue to watch then I’ll post about it here. Maybe.

Wait, holy shit, who's that girl on the left?! Let's see some more of that girl!

EDIT: Forgot to mention! The loli! The loli at the end of the episode who appears to only wear a see-through dress and panties! That’s more than enough reason to watch at least one more episode.

Running From Chu-Bra. NEVER. ESCAPING.
January 6, 2010, 12:21 am
Filed under: Chu-Bra | Tags: , ,

NOTE: Before you read this, I want to point out that I am not insulting Chu-Bra in this post nor anyone who likes it. I enjoyed the first episode and maybe you will too. You probably would know this reading the post, but I felt I should point it out because this incredibly stupid motherfucker missed that point and I’d hate to see anyone else make a complete fucking fool of themselves doing the same. Thank you.

I watched the first episode of Chu-Bra and I realized that this anime was asking me a question, and that it was a question that I did not want to answer. The question was something along the lines of ‘Are you a lolicon? y/n’, no ‘buts’ or ‘ands’ about it. This show clearly exists for a singular purpose – to provide fanservice of twelve year old anime girls. That’s it. This show is only possible as an anime, period. It’s not a show that a little tweaking could make acceptable. There are shows like Kodomo no Jikan that go younger and harsher, but have had a case made for them about their dramatic plot, etc. – Chu-Bra offers no such consolation. It is a show about underwear. It is a show about underwear in relation to 12-year-old girls. It is about nothing else. Do you have to be a lolicon pervert to enjoy Chu-Bra? Not necessarily – it is certainly unique, a bit funny, and entertaining, so maybe you can watch it for that – but the fact is, that’s not what it was made for.

Chu-Bra airs on a station called ‘AT-X’ which is known for airing fanservice anime uncut when other channels couldn’t get away with it. Shows like Kanokon and Queen’s Blade play on this channel. This show airs at 11:30 PM. I’m telling you, there is exactly one fucking audience for this show, and it is fucking lolicon perverts, so if you watch the show, you have to ask yourself – ‘am I a lolicon pervert?’

It’s a question you may not like to know the answer to. I’ve already known it. I know what search tags I use on image boards. I know the kind of doujinshi I read. I know the kind of anime I enjoy for what kind of reasons. There is no hiding, and no lying to myself. I can bullshit my way through anything, but a fact that I don’t even feel comfortable stating remains – if I watched Chu-Bra, and I enjoyed it, it wouldn’t be because it was funny. It wouldn’t be because it has decent animation or vocal performances or is unique. Maybe, just maybe I’d be watching it because it has educational facts about underwear, and I am somewhat interested from a fashion standpoint. But let’s face it – if I continue watching this show, it’s because I like the character designs, and because I like the way that they look in their underwear. That is the only thing that I know would justify my watching multiple episodes of this show that otherwise I know would not hold my attention.

I can take some solace in the fact that I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I am not a pedophile. Actually, I only like older women ‘in the meat’ (as Digiboy is trying to make into the new way of saying ‘in real life’) – I find it disturbing to date anyone who is younger than me, and I prefer that they be at least a year older than me, otherwise I feel like I’ve had too much more experience than them. I do like short women and I don’t like big breasts, but the women I like are more cool, independent, and older. ‘Cougars’ or something, that they would call them in pop culture. However, when it comes to anime, my tastes are simply more broad. Anime characters can come in all shapes, ages and sizes, and I can still find them attractive. It has nothing to do with a preference – I don’t specifically like younger anime girls, but I also am totally not opposed to them. It’s like a mechanism in my brain tells me ‘it doesn’t matter, because they are anime anyway. No harm can come from this.’ And I wish the governments of many countries would recognize this fact as well.

As a matter of fact, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people being lolicons. One of America’s founding fathers said ‘my right to swing my fist ends where another man’s right not to get hit begins.’ That is the basis of law – we punish people who do wrong to others. There is no wrong whatsoever in having sexual feelings for a cartoon. No one is at stake here. However, the fact that people believe that there is, and more so the fact that it is illegal in many countries, makes it easy to feel bad about it. Which is utter bullshit! No one should have to feel bad about their preferences! Isn’t this what we tell our goddamn kids in our educational television shows when we are trying to give them the self-confidence to function in society and not feel like everyone hates them? Come on, people! This is prejudice on sexual preference, but it’s so unanimous that no one questions it! If you want real political correctness, leave the damn lolicons alone or hang your fucking selves on the nooses you built to end discrimination!

I completely digress. If I watch Chu-Bra, I admit to myself that I am a lolicon, because there is no other reason to enjoy it. How am I to defend this show? How am I to say that ‘well, it’s actually a good show, you just have to be a lolicon to enjoy it.’ I shouldn’t really have to feel uncomfortable saying that, but you know, an Australian guy could get arrested just for following through on that recommendation and getting caught for it. Whatever. Fuck the world. Fuck the retro-active state of the planet right now. France is banning insults. Ireland is banning sacrilege. I feel like banning myself from life. Everyone who allows this to continue makes me sick, and I include myself for being too comfortable in life to throw a fucking riot.

Ao no Futsumashi Chapter 7 – Complex Truth
December 4, 2009, 11:51 pm
Filed under: Ao no Futsumashi, Katou Kazue, Manga | Tags: , ,

In the latest chapter of Jump SQ’s excellent new series, quite a bit happens, though it doesn’t go in any real particular direction. Whereas the last several chapters were centered on character development, this one is focused on plot development, and the story seems to favor twists and turns for now. I can’t really say I favored the arrangement – too many twists turning back on one another lead to needless complexity. First we learn that the monster attack of the previous chapter was a test, then that Neigaez was actually under orders from Mephistopheles, then that he wants to kill Rin for his own reasons, and then once again we are confirmed that Mephistopheles is pulling the strings.

What bothers me isn’t really the plot points themselves, but the execution. It’s obvious that Mephistopheles should have a good reason for all of this – there’d be no point to him murdering Rin after going through so much trouble already to train him, so it’s painfully obvious that there’s more to it. And yet, it’s also evident that Neigaez really does want Rin dead, so where do Mephistopheles’ intentions begin and his own end? Is Mephistopheles just using him with the false assurance that he wants Rin dead, or has he been given alternative orders and is trying to kill Rin as part of his own agenda?

This power is cool as shit!

I also wonder why it is that Neigaez seems fairly weak, and wonder if this fact has to do with the mission Mephistopheles gave him rather than his actual power level. I mean, his own attacks are almost the death of him, and he does virtually nothing to the protagonists – he’s almost just kind of a pussy. If he really, really wants Rin dead, he could accomplish it, couldn’t he? He had me somewhat convinced when he tried to get Rin with his giant… protractor in his sleep, but then why isn’t he more desperately trying to make this kid die? It’s just a bit confusing.

I enjoyed the mid-section of this chapter the most with it’s focus more on characters, which seems to be the manga’s strong point – not to say that the fighting isn’t great, because it is, but I think it’s best when the fights are also revealing something about the characters, which wasn’t really the case in this chapter.

Mephistopheles is just damn sexy~

The strongest element of this chapter was the continually amazing art, especially in some of the moments I’ve picked out to show you here. I’m always impressed not just by the detail of the backgrounds, but in how quintessentially awesome the characters are made to look. Neigaez’s hand-summoning arms were sweet as shit, and Mephistopheles continues to be Too Cool For School. Love his yukata towards the end of the chapter!

Ao no Futsumashi is still fun, but this is probably the weakest chapter yet – if we are going to pull into some more plot-intensive chapters, it should be done more fluidly and quickly.