Suspended Animation Dreams

The Story Of My Balls: GODLY TESTICLES OF STEEL by Shance

No, this is not your typical Armageddon talk. It’s way too insane to be labeled as such. Why? Let me count the ways, then: Ejaculations, masochism, necrophilia, nymphomania, blowjobs, 7 month-long abstinence, seduction, tsundere tendencies…

Wait. What am I talking about, you ask? My Balls, of course. No, not my as in mine, since I don’t have those anyway. It’s the title of the promising manga done by a “dream tag team” composed of Seguchi Takahiro and Harada Shigemitsu. Now, I don’t much about the “promising” part, but it does open a whole new dimension of insanity, if not bring it on a whole new level.

Let’s do a brief summary of the current situation. We’re on the year 20xx, and hell is going to break loose, literally. Yes, you heard that right, literally. Now, Heaven is trying to stop it so they can save mankind from the impending genocide. The only way to do that is to seal the leader of the invasion, the Queen of Terror Emmaniel, into a holy ball. The good news is, Heaven did successfully seal Emmaniel. The bad news is, Heaven sealed her not in a holy ball, but in the holy balls of Satou Kouta. Balls? What balls? What kind of balls? Well, not really balls. They’re TESTICLES, to be exact. Now, you might think this is NOT holy, but holy shit, it’s a perfect “what-the-hell” moment.

The Angel that sealed the Queen leaves Kouta a mission: He must prevent ejaculating for a month so Emmaniel won’t be released, therefore stopping Armageddon. Of course, this is unfair for our poor, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary lad. Such a feat will cost him his sex life, but if he fails to comply on this mission, it’ll cost him his life and the world. But that’s not all. While Kouta is enjoying his little ORZ moment, hell’s busy on sending envoys hell-bent on one thing: Kouta’s ejaculation. Lesser devils, succubi, zombies, name it, they’ll do it. Ain’t that a way to end the world in ecstasy?

Meet Lesser Devil Elysse, assigned to make Kouta come. Whoa, such an assignment. But wait. Apparently, little Elysse hasn’t experienced anything “Earthly” or “Humane” before. That’s much assurance she’ll fail the mission, yes? But halt your senses before you actually say it. As the days of abstinence pile up, Elysse not only fails to make Kouta come, but also falls in love with him, tsundere style. Now, that’s not going to sit will on her mission, right? What more if she finds out that our Kouta has a crush on a human nympho girl named Minayo?

In the course of time, Kouta and the gang meet other emissaries from hell tasked to squeeze Kouta’s balls to pull Emmaniel out of ’em (kinda gross just thinking of it), only to eventually turn coat into Kouta and humanity’s side. Succubus Irene is an example: She was first tasked to make Kouta come if Elysse fails, but eventually, upon finding that human men has insatiable sexual appetite (a fact she also sees in Kouta even though Kouta maintains the abstinent air in him), she dumps the mission and enjoys wasting lustful men (thank God for succubi like her). Unfortunately, she laid waste to Kouta by awakening his masochistic tendencies.

So far, My Balls ain’t finished yet, and apparently, it even got prolonged from the initial 1 month upon sealing Emmaniel, to 7 months upon Satan’s sealing to his other testicle (Yes!, She gets sealed too! I mean, what the shit, two diabolical beings of pure terror on your balls?!). As for the chapter summaries or something like it, I’d rather recommend you reading it instead.

I’m going to save the world? NO.


4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Hilarious! I was already aware of My Balls, but your writing excels in this post~~ so glad one of my authors actually posted!

Comment by 21stcenturydigitalboy

But of course, we can’t have the other ecchi/hentai/borderline stuff lying around and not being mentioned destine them being good. We can’t have that, no.

Comment by Shance

Oh my god. This sounds hilarious.

Well written post BTW.

Comment by dai1313

It is, that’s why you have to read it. No, I mean it. Seriously.

Thanks for the post compliment btw.

Comment by Shance

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